you don't actually have to choose between these tools as they have vastly different purposes. i think its more a matter of understanding how to use them.
while eslint and stylelint are used to notify you about code quality issues, to guide you to write better code, prettier automatically handles code formatting (without notifying me). nothing else.
prettier and eslint both officially discourage using the eslint-plugin-prettier way, as these tools actually do very different things. autofixing with linters on watch isnt a great idea either. auto-fixing should only be done intentionally. you're not alone though, as a lot of devs set this up wrong.
i encourage you to think about what problem you're trying to solve and configure accordingly.
for my teams i set it up like this:
- eslint, stylelint, prettier locally installed for cli use and ide support
- eslint config prettier (code formatting rules are not eslints business, so dont warn me about it)
- vscode workspace config: format on save
- separate npm scripts for linting, and formatting
- precommit hooks (husky)
so you can easily integrate with gulp. its just js after all ;)
